Lily's Smile
by miss-blanche
Summary: No matter how hard you try, you can't lie to yourself. Though he would never admit it, deep down Remus Lupin knew that he loved Lily Evans no matter how hard he fought not to.
1. Prologue

**A/N Freckles here, I'm so pain stakingly bored these holidays I'm writing quite a bit to keep me entertained, as I'm up to date with all my chapters elsewhere I needed something else, and as I sat down for lunch today I developed a plot. But enough with all this boring chit chat and on to more important things (like the story) :)  
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**Disclaimer: If I owned the rights to Harry Potter, believe me, I wouldn't be sitting here with my dysfunctional computer, half listening to the cricket and writing fan fiction.**

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**Prologue  
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At first, Remus had been sure that it was just fatigue. It had been a particularly long night and he and Lily had been patrolling the corridors for what seemed like hours. It had been the first night that Voldemort's followers had showed signs of activity (within the Hogwarts grounds no less) and the first night Remus Lupin realized that he loved Lily Evans.

He didn't readily admit it was love. He thought he was tired and not thinking straight but something struck a chord inside him as she smiled, hugged him and told him to get a good night's sleep.

At first he ignored it. They'd been friends for a long time. They'd met properly the fifth year on the Hogwarts Express as the new Gryffindor prefects. The two instantly formed a mutual friendship based on their similar interests. Lily was different to the other girls at Hogwarts; she was interesting, she had balls and she was the only person Lupin had ever completely trusted as soon as he met her.

So when they had to do hours of tedious prefect duties (mainly consisting of chasing Sirius and his girlfriend of the week out of a broom cupboard) they spent their time talking about anything and everything. From the latest fashion trends shown in Witch Weekly to whether Lily would finally agree to go out with James Potter to what the Minister of Magic Jonas Wallmen had to say on the giant riots in the West of France. They related to each other easily as they shared the same interests. And unlike most of the other girls Lupin had ever been involved with (romantic or otherwise) she actually knew how to hold up an interesting conversation without giggling and gushing over how 'Sweet' he was.

In the sixth year Lupin confessed to her what he'd never confessed to any other girl in the world: That he was a werewolf.

And admittedly, she wasn't his girlfriend so the news obviously wouldn't affect her life to such a grand scale, but Lily Evans took the news the best out of everyone he'd ever told. She simply said; "I know. I sort of figured it out," and gave him her famous 'Gracious Lily Evan's smile'

Even then he didn't know what was already forming inside him. He didn't know that the warmth that spread through him every time he saw her was something more than it should have been. That the way he smiled at the very thought of her WAS something out of the ordinary for someone who was only her friend.

But that night in their seventh year, after making sure that every opening in the school was locked and that every student was asleep in their dormitories, after several hours of tedious work and both looking like they hadn't slept for days Remus realized with a frightening force just how he felt about Lily.

He was used to her hugs (they were a regular since their sixth year) but he hadn't realized how beautiful Lily's smile really was and at that moment his heart started to beat much faster than it had around any other girls in his life. The palms of his hands became sweaty and a lump rose in his throat and stayed there until, finally, in the early hours of the morning, he got to sleep.

He woke around midday and the lump was still there. Lily's face popped into his mind but he forced it away… He'd been tired and hadn't been thinking straight… That was the reason he couldn't get her out of his head.

He tried to reason with himself… Tried to manipulate his mind into believing that it really was the fatigue that had made him feel so strongly about her… That it would do no good to be crushing on Lily Evans when she was already spoken for… That they were FRIENDS and that there was no chemistry or spark between them…

But it didn't matter… because no matter how hard you try… you can't lie to yourself and deep down, Remus Lupin knew that he loved Lily Evans no matter how hard he fought not to.

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**(Ahem) Will offer free sexy Remus for every reviewer :)**


	2. Distraction

**Okey dokey I now have a new chapter up and running. Just so you all know I've never actually produced an M rated fic before now but I considered it was appropriate. I want to warn that the following chapter will include an incy bit of swearing. Nothing major, i had quite a lot before i edited but decided against it. Just wanted to reiterate so I don't offend.**

**Now enough of that boring stuff :) FREE SEXY REMUS' TO: Paddie'sGirl, Kaze Kiba and Twisted-Tealeaf. Thankyou's at the bottom as always. :)**

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**Chapter One – Distraction**

"MOONY! Will you watch what you're doing with that stapler?!" Sirius exclaimed almost falling from his ladder as Remus Lupin almost accidentally stapled his hand, something he'd never experienced and never wanted to experience.

Remus snapped his attention back to the work at hand. _Decorating… right._

It was the day before Lily Evans and James Potter got married and as two good best men (Sirius officially, Remus unofficially) they had the responsibility (in Sirius' case displeasure) of decorating for the reception. The area they were decorating was a simplistic function room that lay in the middle of a block of offices in the heart of London that no one would have ever noticed had they not known it was there. It appeared quite plain at first glance, but after three hours of labour, at least seventy five balloons, four hundred and fifty sets of streamers and one very arguable banner, Remus had to admit he and Sirius had definitely made an improvement.

It was just one more thing Remus could add to the tally of things he'd done to make the marriage a go ahead. He'd been working non stop since the engagement; arranging, negotiating, decorating, organizing, inviting, sorting, rearranging and so on and so forth…

And as he and Sirius neared the end of their final task he began to dread what lay ahead…

Actually taking time to think about what was really happening.

James marrying Lily.

It was as simple as that. Three words that had had him working relentlessly for months to distract him from the actual possibility that the love of his life Lily Evans was getting married to his best friend.

"Thank god this is almost finished… we would have had it all up in seconds if we'd used magic…" Sirius grunted pushing against the stapler in his hand with all his force. The stapler practically squealed in reply.

"Sirius, gently." Remus advised. Although he knew the stapler couldn't feel any pain he couldn't say the same for Sirius if he fell from such a height… The force he was exerting was putting him out of balance and as evidence of this the ladder almost lifted up on three legs. Sirius eyed the ground warily seeing his point and pushed against the stapler gently receiving a small click of confirmation that his effort was in minimal need. Satisfied that his friend was no longer in danger, Remus turned to look out at the foyer where the noise equivalent of a zoo could be heard and said; "We couldn't have used magic with them watching."

Mingling in the foyer (or causing a racket that couldn't be healthy for one's ears) were the workers from the neighbouring offices. It seemed that their little function room had never seen something as exciting as a wedding reception; they were all gawking at the decorations and banners like a bunch of five year olds in a candy shop. Sirius had been disgruntled by their presence on their arrival and even Remus who was usually quite a patient man was beginning to get the urge to yell 'FUCK OFF!' Had it not been for his panic at the upcoming wedding Remus would have felt immensely relieved that they were nearing the end of their work.

"Moony… When you get married…. Wormtail is your best man." Sirius panted looking up at the banner he had just stapled proudly.

It read 'Congratulations James and Lily' Remus looked up at it with secret disdain and felt something churn in his gut. He felt the sudden urge to rip it down in rage, but instead replied rather frostily;" When I get married? More like if by some miracle I get married."

Sirius shrugged off his comment grinning goofily, "You know… I never thought he'd actually woo the girl. Now I'm starting to think I should be suggesting baby names. What do you think of Sirius as a boy's name?"

"I think if you named a boy Sirius he might grow up an arrogant, self absorbed man whore." Remus muttered miserably. He hadn't thought of kids. Bloody hell were Lily and James really going to have kids? He realized that was a ridiculous thing to think about… Mainly because if they were getting married, eventually they'd probably want kids.

"What's wrong?" Sirius asked.

"Nothing… it's just… I miss the old days." He lied. It was such a blatant lie Remus was sure that Sirius would pick him up for it and force the truth. Sirius however obviously had other thoughts on his mind or was too warped from all the work he'd done to notice.

"Me too." He chuckled. "I miss those broom cupboards… No one ever interrupted when you were in a broom cupboard because they knew what was probably going on inside. But being caught in your bedroom by Mrs Potter…" Sirius shuddered.

"You miss broom cupboards the most?" Remus asked rolling his eyes, "Out of everything we've been through?"

"It was a joke Moony. Sheesh what got on your tail?" Sirius asked slowly descending the ladder, "Well we're done. From now on all I have to do is handle the rings and get very drunk. I love weddings… Drinks all around!" He stumbled out the door dramatically calling for Remus to follow.

Rolling his eyes, Remus turned back to the banner, he looked around at the decorations that had been the result of many hours of work from him and Sirius and sighed.

"Congratulations James and Lily indeed." He said sadly, before turning to follow Sirius.

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His dress robes were hung neatly at the door next to an equally neat tuxedo. He'd checked that Sirius still had the rings in his pocket three times to make sure he hadn't lost them He'd gone through every single detail (the car, the table spots and the entertainment) and he'd called the priest twice to make sure he was still free for the entire day in case something went wrong.

The order members that didn't feel the need to get dressed up for something as trivial as a wedding (_There's a bloody war on and you're worrying about a wedding?_ That was Mad Eye Moody) were all set to guard the church and the office block to fend off any 'trespassers' that might decide to swing by. Their brooms were all fully functional, Remus had checked five times.

Remus lay as still as possible. The bed was comfy there was no doubt about that. Everything was in the right spot and the lights were out and yet he still couldn't sleep.

He glanced at the intricately designed mirror next to him. It lay quite innocently… Just waiting…

It wouldn't hurt to check Sirius had the rings in order just one more time… after all it was a cliché for one reason and one reason only… The Best man ALWAYS seemed to lose the rings.

Remus picked up the mirror guiltily and whispered, "Sirius."

His own appearance disappeared and was replaced with Sirius' rather disheveled one.

"What do you want?" He asked clearly irritated.

"I just wanted to check…"

"Moony, I've got the bloody rings in my bloody pocket, now bloody well stop asking me and get to bloody sleep."

Sirius' face disappeared and Remus stared into his own amber eyes.

He knew that he shouldn't have checked up… Sirius got pissy when people interrupted his sleep. He'd learnt that the hard way in his first year at Hogwarts. Remus Lupin hadn't been accustomed to people sleeping past nine am and was starting to worry that Sirius would miss breakfast altogether. James had advised him to 'Just leave him there' and Peter had agreed with this advice but Remus wanted to make sure his friend got a good breakfast and the best start to the day as possible. He did succeed in his efforts but received a new scar just above his left eyebrow from a cleverly aimed quill. He still wondered how Sirius could have been so 'tired' and yet still have the energy to aim so precisely.

He put the mirror away carefully and turned on his back to stare up at the black ceiling.

_Just try counting… that always works._

Lily's face flashed into his mind and his stomach churned uncomfortably. She was marrying James… Tomorrow. She had no idea how he felt about her and she was marrying James.

_One, two, three…_

_She's the ONLY person that ever understood and felt really empathetic about what was happening to me when I transformed, she still brings me chocolate every full moon!_

_Eleven, twelve, thirteen…_

_That's not a good enough reason to marry her. In fact it's the very reason you shouldn't marry her… You're a werewolf… Get a bloody grip!_

_Twenty, Twenty one, twenty two…_

_I'm not saying I want to marry her! But she's always cared about me. Maybe if I'd had the balls I would have asked her out the very moment I met her and James' infatuation never would have got out of hand!_

_Forty four, forty five, forty six…_

_Your infatuation is getting out of hand! Move on! It's just a crush! You'll get over it! You'll see her walking up the aisle to James and you'll realize she doesn't want you and that she wants James and only James._

_Seventy nine, eighty, eighty one…_

_I'd do anything for her. Bloody hell I'd probably die for her. I can talk to her so openly and still trust her! She's so different to every other girl._

_NINETY NINE, ONE HUNDRED, ONE HUNDRED AND ONE…_

_You'll find another girl…_

_Not like her. _

_You can't have her. She loves James. SHE'S MARRYING JAMES!_

_Fuck it. One million._

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_**Paddie'sGirl - Thankyou! Looks at Jamesie and Sirius adoringly I wasn't really much of a fan of Remus/Lilly myself either until I started to think about this plot. Thankyou:)**_

_**Kaze Kiba - Hope you like this chapter! I'm not sure whether the first bit is very good but i hope it still looks promising! Thanks for your review:)**_

_**Twisted-Tealeaf - You like? Thankyou! He he i like that word... Shmexy Remus:)**_

_**All reviewers for this chapter receive compulsive obsessive Remus (Don't be fooled, this is a good bargain, easing his tension is very rewarding!)  
**_

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	3. Cold feet

**A/N Yeah, I'm hopeless. I took quite a while didn't I? I hope this is a good chapter. I thought it looked promising. Anyhow enough of my rambling! Obsessive Remus to Paddie'sGirl and Kaze Kiba. Thankyous at the bottom, you guys are awesome:)  
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**Chapter Three – Cold Feet  
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Remus gave a small jerk and his bed covers flew off his body and onto the floor. Groaning he leaned over and switched off his alarm which was now chirping merrily welcoming the new day with unsuppressed glee. Remus wished he could trade places with it… But he couldn't.

He could hear crashing sounds from below and knew that Sirius was awake. Yawning widely he trampled down the stairs to find Sirius indeed awake, a piece of paper in his hand and a pencil behind his ear. A small grin graced his lips for a moment, thinking that it must have been the first time Sirius had been up before eleven on a Sunday.

"Morning." Remus said opening the fridge to get some juice.

"Right back at you…" Sirius said his eyebrows furrowed in concentration as his eyes scanned over the page analytically.

"Dare I ask?" Remus said issuing the piece of paper.

"Toast to the bride and groom, aka Freckles and Prongs." Sirius muttered still not looking up.

"You know, her freckles faded in first year." Remus muttered.

"And yet the name stuck." Sirius said finally looking up with his dark eyes to see that Remus looked worse for wear, "How much sleep did you get?"

"Not much." Remus replied, "Nerves, you know."

"I can empathise." Sirius said pouring himself a glass of orange juice, "At least you don't have to get up in front of a whole heap of people who are expecting you to be funny."

"I thought getting up in front of people who expected you to be funny was your area of expertise." Remus said with a small smirk. Sirius always had the ability to cheer him up. James did too but he was marrying the girl of his dreams…

He winced.

Not a good thing to think about.

"It is, just not when it's something important. I'm the mate who's there for the good unimportant stupid times like pranking Filch, then there's the type of mate who makes a memorable speech at his best mates' wedding. Two completely different concepts Moony."

"Just be yourself." Remus advised.

"An arrogant prick?"

"I was thinking more along the lines of attractive comedian."

"That's what they'll write in my obituary, but what I really am and what everyone knows I am; is an arrogant prick. And being an arrogant prick doesn't help in your best mates' wedding toast."

"Still got the rings?" Remus asked. Sirius could worry all he wanted about wedding toasts but nobody really cared if it was crap. Now, on the other hand, if he screwed up the actual wedding he was in real trouble.

"For the millionth fucking time, yes." Sirius muttered impatiently returning to his toast. "They're right here in my pocket."

"Show me." Remus said.

"What?"

"Show them to me."

"You don't trust me at all do you?" Sirius said indignantly.

"Not for a minute." Remus said issuing with his finger. Sighing in a frustrated manner Sirius pulled the rings from his pocket and placed them on the table in clear view.

Part of him; the noble part, was relieved that they were indeed in safe hands. The other part; the part that was absolutely devastated that the love of his life was marrying somebody else; was disappointed that Sirius had kept them so safely.

"Satisfied?" Sirius said whipping them back into his pocket and studying his paper once more.

"Immensely." Remus said sipping on his juice glaring at the sun gleaming through the window. The most miserable day of his life and the bloody sun was smiling down at him from a perfectly blue sky. Just bloody typical.

A third person entered the kitchen, uttered a bleary hello and sat down next to Remus pulling the orange juice towards himself and sipping from the bottle.

"Other people have to drink that you prat," Sirius snarled his eyes still on the paper.

"I have a hang over." Peter muttered massaging his temple. He, unlike Remus and Sirius had been up the night before drinking with a few other Hogwarts cronies. Sirius, who would have joined in on such merry traditions but had been much too absorbed in the writing of his toast, simply rolled his eyes.

"Now you know how I felt all those years." Remus said looking at Sirius over his glass.

"Oh don't pretend like you've never been drunk Moony."

"I'm not. I just didn't get drunk nearly as often as you did."

Peter groaned and muttered something Remus couldn't hear through his folded arms as his head was currently resting on top of them. Downing the rest of his orange juice, Remus paid no attention to him and stated that he needed a shower. Peter groaned in reply and Sirius told him (his eyes _still_ on his speech) not to use all the hot water.

'No chance of that' Remus thought bitterly. He wasn't going to give himself the pleasure of a hot shower. He never wanted pleasure again. Just pain and suffering. If Lily was marrying James he wouldn't even need to work at getting pain and suffering. He'd just get out of bed in the morning and it would be there, hanging over his head. Over the nine hours he'd been in bed trying to get to sleep he'd come to the conclusion that he wasn't going to distract himself without a wedding to plan… So he'd let the misery creep him and invade his body and mind. Filling him with depressive thoughts.

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Remus actually looked quite respectable that day. He had used one of his father's best white ties and his best black robes (he'd made sure the patches were hardly visible) and he'd ironed his white shirt so perfectly that he felt as if it had been filled with starch. Sirius, on the other hand, was having difficulty looking even an ounce respectable. His collar refused to sit properly (seven years of simply undoing the top button and being so scruffy, Remus mused) and his tie was uneven and messy. 

"Here let me do it." Remus sighed at last growing impatient with Sirius' fiddling.

"What if I screw up?" Sirius asked nervously.

"You're nervous?" Remus asked with a sort of miserably chuckle, "There's something I thought I'd never see."

"Oh well, take pleasure in my insecurities." Sirius said, "Someone has to."

"Oh we all will mate." Peter said on entering the room. He too looked grand; best dress robes and undoubtedly one of the most stylish bow ties in existence, he even put Remus to shame, "After all. You've taken pleasure in ours for so many years it seems unfair not to return the favour."

"Oh well take pleasure then while you can." Sirius said, "You won't look so good once I've said my speech."

"Well don't choke." Remus muttered.

Peter and Sirius both laughed; Sirius admiring himself in the mirror while he did so. He looked dashing. But then, he always did. Maybe not as neat and tidy as Remus and Peter, but dashing none the less.

"I don't think I can do this." Sirius said shakily.

"Have you got the rings?" Remus asked concerned. Sirius turned on him with an incredulous look on his face and exclaimed: "Will you stop it with the rings already???? Yes I've got them!!"

"Well other than that I don't see what you're so nervous about. It's not like you've got the chance to back out. Cold feet are for the bride and groom."

"Oh as if James and Lily will get cold feet… they've got that clichéd thing happening… Cold feet my foot."

Remus' stomach lurched. He hoped his work wouldn't go to waste… But more of him… The less noble part, hoped that Lily did in fact get cold feet and found fast feet.

They hung around the apartment for a little while. Talking and laughing as there wasn't much else to do. But as the clock neared eleven they prepared themselves for the church. Sirius had to get there early so he could brief James (as it _was_ his wedding day and he would definitely need briefing) and Peter and Remus were to hang around and do whatever needed doing.

As they all piled into the car, Sirius' hands began to shake. He took the wheel, but shook his head and said (or demanded) "Moony… Drive."

Remus rolled his eyes jumping over the gear stick into the driver seat. He turned the keys hastily (his hands not much better than Sirius') and backed out of the drive shabbily almost running into a pot plant.

"Jeez, if I didn't have a hang over I could do much better than you pair." Peter said indignantly.

Remus and Sirius ignored him as they were both preoccupied in their own thoughts. Each tree, post and car Remus passed made him want to turn around and drive in the other direction, hoping to god that that would stop the wedding. He bargained with god, begging his service in return for Lily.

But God wasn't listening.

They got to the church and practically jumped out of the car. There were hordes of people milling around the courtyard socializing and laughing. A wedding after all was a joyous occasion… A joyous occasion of love in the midst of a war of hatred.

Sirius sprinted into the church. Looking left to right to find the side room where James would be getting dressed.

"In there." Said a short, brown haired witch with freckles.

Sirius nodded and rushed into the room to his left. Remus (trying to hide his growing agony) greeted the witch with a wave.

"Hi Marcy."

"Remus." She replied with a warm smile. She looked different to the school girl he remembered. She'd always been a fun person. He remembered the way her hair used to be bunched into messy pigtails as she blew bubbles with her strawberry chewing gum and laughed. Now she looked more mature… Serious. He hadn't seen her for a long time. She hadn't joined the order and anyone who hadn't joined the order had dropped off the radar what with his commitments. In school he never imagined not speaking to people like Marcy again. But now he knew that school mates were often lost once they entered the real world. Especially when the real world was in such dark times.

He pulled her into a warm hug, careful not to ruffle her apricot bride's maid dress.

"How you been?" She asked.

"Oh you know… Okay." He replied.

They didn't say anything else. Nothing else needed to be said. Okay, said it all and covered all matter of sins. In all honesty inside he was anything but okay. His heart was beating at a hundred miles an hour and he was dreading every minute that passed leading up to what was about to happen.

"Remus!" A pleasant faced girl wearing the same apricot dress Marcy wore ran towards him and pulled him into a zealous hug. He patted her on the back and gave her a small grin. Jenna Wyatt grinned back. Another school mate he hadn't kept in touch with.

"How are you?" He asked.

"Great. Excited." She said smiling in a bubbly manner. She'd always backed Lily's relationship with James so he could imagine her excitement. "I'm glad you're here, because Lily really wanted to see you."

Remus' heart skipped a beat. Lily wanted to see him?

"Where is she?" He asked trying to keep his voice even.

"In that one there." She pointed to a little door opposite the one Sirius had entered. Remus didn't look back at the two bride's maids now arguing over the position of the flowers and pushed open the door.

He sorely wished he was James.

Lily looked stunning. Her red hair hung in soft curls around her shoulders and her green eyes sparkled with anticipation. Her dress was simple, but elegant.

"Hello stranger." She said with a smile. Remus wanted to hit his head against a brick wall in agony.

"Hi." He said barely mustering words, "You look… Beautiful."

"Thanks." She said blushing slightly and averting her gaze. She wasn't wearing any jewellery or any make up. The way Remus always remembered her.

"So…" He started.

"So." She replied looking up, "I'm getting married."

"Yeah... Yeah I picked up on that too."

She chuckled for a moment and then looked up at him with a smile; "I'm doing the right thing aren't I?"

It was then that Remus noticed the tiny flicker of doubt in her eyes. It wasn't straight out 'There's no way I can do this.' But it was there. He tried to squander the little voice that applauded this flicker of fear… but to no avail.

"What do you mean?" He asked. Yes, that was a nice even careful question.

Lily sighed and looked down at her dress consciously, "Well what I mean is… Well am I too young? Am I ready to marry James?"

_Yes you are too young. No you're not ready._

"I don't think I can answer those questions for you." Remus said softly.

"No… I know you can't." She looked up and wiped away a quick tear, "Thanks Remus."

"Well you're welcome. I wasn't really very much help."

Lily laughed and crossed the room to give him a soft hug, "Yes you are. Always have been."

Remus sighed absorbing the moment. It was the last he'd get before she was a married woman. Lily a married woman? More like a married girl.

She gave him a chaste grin and wiped her eyes hastily. "All these bloody emotions. I'll smudge my mascara, not a good look on your wedding day."

Remus chuckled. If Lily was getting married at least she hadn't lost the sense of humour he knew too well. He just hoped he could get through the next few hours on that thought alone… That she'd still be the same Lily… Still be as far from his reach.

Somehow he doubted he would.

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**Paddie'sGirl - He he thanks. Yes surprisingly he's almost as obsessive as my mum (almost... not quite... she's really really obsessive) Ooh cookies and Draco??? You're too nice! Thanks again:) Hope you like this chapter. Next chapter will probbly be receptions and stuff (although it will include a little snippet of the service) anyway enjoy. :)  
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**Kaze Kiba - Eh, now that you mention it I can't decide either. I'm glad I'm getting it across but it does pain me to make him miserable. But what can I do? (Not make him miserable lol well that would be a bit easy and life isn't often like that I suppose) Thanks so much for your positive words and sorry for the long delay. My mind gets blocked sometimes... lol**

**Anyone who reviews this chapter gets Sirius and Remus in theri sexy wedding suits/robes. So plllllleeeeeeaaaaasssssseeeee review, I live off reviews (or as EternalConfusion says, 'I'm a review whore' Gosh I love that quote) Anyhow review my pretties! Review! **


	4. Out of Ideas

**Uh... I know I'm a terrible updater... Actually I can think of several words much stronger than terrible but we'll stick with terrible.**

**Anyhow, hope you like this chapter!!!! (It's an update of some kind!) :)  
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**Chapter Four – Out of Ideas**

"How did you know though?"

Remus looked over the table at Jenna's anticipated face. He begged whatever higher power was listening that the blaring hick music would drown out Lily's answer, but it reached his ears all too clearly.

"I just knew." She said, leaning back in her chair, biting her lip. Remus followed her gaze and watched a hyperactive James fling himself around the dance floor. He stopped every now and then to throw Lily a zealous smile at which Lily would divert her gaze and giggle.

Silently killing Remus in the process.

"Well, personally." Peter said taking a swig of fire whisky, "I don't believe in 'The One.'"

"That's because mate, you've never had _a _one."

Everyone burst out laughing as Sirius patted Peter on the back.

"I have so!" Peter cried in indignation.

"In your mind maybe." Sirius muttered stealing his fire whisky.

"You wretched horrible creature!" Marcy said shooting Sirius an amused glance, "Don't worry Peter; I think you'd be a brilliant shag."

"Well thank you." Peter said glaring at Sirius, "Want to dance?"

"Love to."

A silence came over the table that achieved neither awkward nor comfortable.

"Well, may as well join in the fun. Jenna, would you do me the honour, of being…" Sirius paused, "My asexual dance partner."

"God you're a weird one Black." Jenna muttered taking his hand and shimmying her way onto the floor.

Silence erupted at the table again, but this time it did achieve a certain comfort. Remus shot a warm smile across at Lily and she shot an equally warm one back.

And for a moment, Remus pretended that they were the bride and groom sitting together.

"Er, Ladies and Gentlemen?"

Everyone looked up towards the stage where Jenna and Sirius were standing hand in hand.

"First I'd like to make an apology to this lovely lady, who I dragged off the dance floor to stand by me while I make this speech."

Jenna waved with a small laugh.

"And secondly, I'd like to apologise to all you tradition dictators out there who were positively offended by my toast earlier in the evening. I know 'To the bride and groom' is rather unoriginal but I thought it was necessary to make this speech a bit more… special."

"Typical show off mate!" James yelled. He laughed at Sirius' glare as he weaved his way through the crowd to kneel beside Lily. Remus immediately felt like he was intruding on their happiness.

"Yeah thanks Prongs. Just remember you're the subject of my speech." He laughed at James' hand movements and continued.

"When I sat down and thought about what I was going to say, I realized that people would expect me to be funny and show a lot of insight."

He paused for a moment, Remus couldn't decide if it was to gather his thoughts or to maximize the effect.

"But after that I realized I was out of ideas. I didn't think Lily would take it too well if I performed a strip number at her wedding – sorry ladies, she's the boss – and I thought James would take it less well if I got all mushy and cried my guts out and went over every tiny little detail of their relationship."

"So I was at a bit of a loss at what to say, and how to say it. I still am in fact, so I'd like to ask for your forgiveness if this is in some way not polished."

"James met Lily at a time in his life when he wasn't fairing that well. He was on the wrong track; he was two feet high, built like a tooth pick and well you couldn't hear him talk without a pitch translator."

"But boy did he know he loved her. I've always believed that true love starts before puberty." He paused for a second and then said, "Actually, if you know me well and I fear most people in this room do, you'll know that's a complete lie. But for the purpose of this speech let's pretend it's not."

A wave of laughter swept through the room and even Remus had to have a little chuckle.

"For the next four or five years, Moony, Wormtail and I, that's Peter and Remus for the uneducated of you, had to endure long descriptions of how red her hair was and how perfectly her skin glowed and strangely enough, how attractive she was when she had a temper tantrum. I suppose, for the most part of those four or five years James only ever saw her when she was having a temper tantrum, his presence instigated most of them."

"But at the start of seventh year, I was awoken at three in the morning to the excited cries of 'Me and Evans pashed!' 'Me and Evans pashed!' and I knew change was in the air."

"I'm still not sure why Evans did change her mind about our beloved Prongs, in fact, sometimes I think he tied her to a chair and made her swear to love him for the rest of their lives and if that is the case, Lily, I'm sorry about your ordeal, but you're just going to have to put up with him because I can't possibly take his despair."

"On a more serious note." He added clearing his throat, "We're in troubled times. We all walked through those doors this evening and witnessed the measures to which we have to go to stay alive. We all know that even something as joyous as a wedding can be devastated in an instant. So please, raise your glasses with me." A tinkering of glassed rained through the room, "and don't just toast those two amazing people at the back of the room, pray for them."

Remus raised his glass to his lips and tried to pray.

He couldn't.

* * *

"You still haven't drunk all that?" Sirius cried in disgust. The night was nearing an end and a few people had already filtered out into the foyer to say their goodbyes.

Remus stared at his half empty bottle of fire whisky consciously and muttered, "I'm not in the mood for drinking."

"Why bloody not?" Sirius said taking his bottle, "We're celebrating!"

Remus watched him stumble away and thought; _not all of us are._

He felt someone tap his shoulder and swung around. He was surprised to find himself staring into bright green eyes.

"Congratulations." He said softly.

"Thanks," she said, "although… I think I got the message the first four times."

Remus chuckled and conceded, "Yeah probably."

She smiled at him and then looked away. Remus noted something like wistfulness in her eyes.

"What are you going to do while we're away?" She asked with a smile turning her head back towards him, whatever had been in her eyes moments before, gone.

"Don't know." He sighed, "I guess like Sirius, I'm out of ideas."

"Yeah." She mused, "I think we all are."

She kissed him softly on the cheek and murmured 'Bye Remus."

And as he, Sirius, Peter, Marcy and Jenna waved she and James away, he pondered on what she meant.

* * *

**Paddie's Girl - You want to give Remus a bear hug? Well that can be arranged ;) Especially after that awesome review. Seriously my esteem improved eight fold with each line of your reviews. They're so good! Thank you!!!! **

**LilypEoVtAtNeSr - Well no riding off into the sunset yet... lol But she does marry James! (To Remus' despair :( ) Thanks so much for your review! Hope this chapter satisfied your curiosity!**

** Lady Tourniquet - Well thank you. I just reviewed your story by the way... te he. Tis good. Very good. 'Oh I really do have problems don't I?'**

**This chap is fairly short but seeing as I'm on holidays I can get chapters out quicker. So review:D (Get a free Remus you know you want to!)  
**


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